The Programme:

Please note we’ll be taking £3 at the door to cover costs for this evening – a bargain any Scot would be proud to claim!

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face

We didn’t argue with that sentiment in previous years, and everyone had such a good time that we’re doing it again.

If you have yet to be convinced of haggis’s virtues (or even if you have been), roll up on Tuesday evening for a treat of said puddin’, with its traditional embellishments of bashed neeps, mashed spuds, and whatever trimmings we can muster. There will even be a dram in it for those keen on the true Caledonian experience, along with the joyful skirl provided by our in-house piper and traditional poetry read in excruciatingly inaccurate Scottish accents.

Note that we’ll be providing, as well as full-fat leaded haggis, vegetarian, gluten free and gluten free vegetarian variations. Please let Ken know if your tastes run to any of these so we can get the numbers right.

Please note that, due to government restrictions, we will be using only left-handed specimens, humanely caught by burly, kilted highlanders using extra strong butterfly nets.

But

(I hear you ask)

what’s my part in all this magnificence?

Well, there are a few things you should be aware of . . . .

1. In the interests of simplicity and getting home before dawn, we’re not washing up! Bring your own plate, glass and cutlery, and take them home at the end of the evening.

2. Drink provided is limited to Scotch and Highland Water for the toasts – in addition, of course, to the regular tea & coffee service graciously provided by Olga William Colette. If your tastes veer in other directions, please feel free to bring your own choice of tipple.

3. For the furtherance of jollity and the spirit of the evening, any vaguely Scottish apparel is encouraged. If you can’t stretch to a kilt, how about tartan socks or a Hamilton Accies away strip?

Looking forward to that haggis already. No, don’t ask me what’s in it!

(I know, all shamelessly pasted in from previous web pages pasted in from the previous year’s email. Life’s still too short . . . )